Scary Truths About Leadership No One Talks About
By James Fleming, Managing Director of The Power Within Training
Halloween is just around the corner, the season of ghosts, jump scares and things that go bump in the night. But if you ask me, the scariest stuff doesn’t come from horror films or haunted houses. It comes from the everyday reality of leadership. The kind of fears no one warns you about when you step into the role; the sleepless nights, the tough calls, the weight of responsibility. These are the scary truths about leadership no one talks about.
People often see the “title” or the LinkedIn posts about success and think leadership is all about confidence, vision, and authority. But there have been plenty of times I’ve sat at my desk late at night, staring at a decision that I knew would affect my whole team, and thought: “What if I get this wrong?”
You’re carrying the weight of decisions that affect not just you, but your team, your clients, and sometimes even their families. You can’t always offload your doubts to your staff, because they need to feel secure. And you don’t always want to bring it home either, because you don’t want to worry your family. (I’m lucky that my business partner is also my wife Enas, but obviously that’s not the case for everyone).
The Lonely Side of Leadership
I remember sitting at my desk in the early days of The Power Within Training, staring at my laptop with my finger hovering over the call button. I had to let someone go, and my chest was tight with nerves. I knew that decision would ripple far beyond the business; it would affect their family, their mortgage, their whole life. That’s the side of leadership people rarely talk about.
No book prepares you for the isolation of making those calls. Working from home makes it feel even more intense at times. Our team stretches from Glasgow to South Africa, and while we’ve built an amazing culture online, those hard leadership moments still happen in silence; just you, a screen, and the weight of responsibility.
The Pressure Never Really Stops
Here’s another scary truth about leadership: the pressure doesn’t end when you close the laptop. The messages keep pinging. The emails pile up overnight. The client calls demand your attention even when you’re meant to be at your kid’s football match. You’re “on” all the time, even when you’re technically out of office.
And the truth is, leadership is full of contradictions. You have to show strength when you don’t feel strong. You have to inspire others when you’re running on empty yourself. You’re expected to make clear decisions when your head is foggy and you’re drowning in options.
Fear of Getting It Wrong
No one talks enough about the fear. The fear of getting it wrong. The fear of letting people down. The fear of not living up to the version of yourself that everyone else seems to believe in.
I’ve felt that plenty of times. Even after years of leading teams, building businesses, and coaching others, I’m not immune to those doubts. The difference now is that I’ve learned how to respond to them rather than letting them paralyse me.
That’s where Motivational Intelligence comes in, and it’s why it’s the foundation of everything we teach at The Power Within Training. MQ isn’t about pretending you don’t feel fear or stress. It’s about equipping yourself with the tools to face them head-on, to see setbacks as lessons, and to keep moving forward even when the easy option is to stop.
Leadership Can Feel Like a Goldfish Bowl
Another scary truth about leadership? You’re being watched. Always. Your team notices how you handle stress, how you respond when something goes wrong, even the tone of your emails. Leadership can feel like living in a goldfish bowl where every move is magnified.
That doesn’t mean you have to be perfect, far from it. But it does mean being intentional. Showing up with consistency. Modelling the behaviour you want to see in your team, even when it’s hard.
I’ve had moments where I’ve snapped in frustration or fired off a quick message I regretted later. Those moments taught me more about leadership than any book or course ever could. The scary truth is, your mistakes ripple outwards, but so do your recoveries. Owning it, apologising, and course-correcting shows more strength than pretending you’ve got it all figured out.
Why We Built Our Programmes
All of these truths, the loneliness, the pressure, the fear, the constant visibility, are exactly why we built our leadership programmes the way we did. Not as tick-box training or theoretical lectures, but as real-world tools for real-world leaders.
Our Leading with Motivational Intelligence and Managing with Motivational Intelligence programmes are designed to tackle the human side of leadership head-on. Because let’s be honest, it’s not spreadsheets or strategies that trip leaders up. It’s mindset. It’s self-doubt. It’s the gap between knowing what to do and actually doing it when the pressure is on.
We’ve seen leaders across industries, from construction managers to corporate directors, walk away from our programmes with the confidence and resilience to lead differently. And that’s not because we gave them magic answers, but because we gave them the tools to find their own.
The Real Horror Story
So here’s my truth: leadership is scary. It’s messy. It’s heavy. And some days, it will keep you up at night.
But unlike a Halloween horror story, this fear doesn’t vanish when the credits roll. If you ignore it, it grows. If you face it head-on, you get stronger.
That’s why we do what we do at The Power Within Training. To remind leaders they don’t have to carry it all alone. To give them a framework, a mindset, and a safe space to work through the scary stuff so they can lead with clarity, conviction, and confidence.
Because here’s the real nightmare: pretending these truths don’t exist. The real courage is in admitting them, and choosing to lead anyway.
James Fleming
The Power Within Training
The Motivational Intelligence Company
james@tpwtd.com
