Too Big for Your Boots: Why Success Makes People Uncomfortable (and Why You Shouldn’t Care)
By James Fleming, MD of The Power Within Training
I grew up in Wishaw, a working-class town just outside Glasgow. If you know the area, you’ll know what I mean when I say it was the kind of place where people grafted hard just to keep the lights on. We didn’t have much money, but we had something else: salt-of-the-earth people who looked out for each other. Neighbours who’d lend you a hand without thinking twice, and a work ethic that wasn’t just respected, it was expected.
By the time I was a teenager, I couldn’t wait to leave school. I have ADHD and dyslexia, and sitting in a classroom all day just wasn’t my thing. My dad, being the man he was, took me along to work with him as a carpet fitter. Back then, that’s just what you did: you left school, picked up a trade, maybe followed in your family’s footsteps, and you stuck with it.
There’s nothing wrong with that life. In fact, trades are the backbone of this country. But even then, I knew deep down it wasn’t the path for me. I didn’t have the full picture of what I wanted, but I knew I wanted something bigger than what was right in front of me.
When Success Makes People Uncomfortable
Here’s the thing no one tells you. When you start stepping away from what’s “normal” in your world, some people will cheer you on. Others will start to shift uncomfortably in their seats.
You’ll hear the comments:
“You’ve changed.”
“Don’t forget where you came from.”
“He’s getting too big for his boots.”
Sometimes it’s said with a laugh. Sometimes it’s whispered behind your back. But what they’re really saying is, “You’re doing something I didn’t expect of you, and I’m not sure how I feel about it.”
The Goldfish Bowl Effect
When you grow up in a small town, it can feel like living in a goldfish bowl. Everyone knows everyone. People notice when you do something different. And if you start to succeed? Well, the ripples are seen by everyone in the bowl.
Some will be inspired. Others will feel threatened. And unfortunately, some will try to pull you back in, not because they hate you, but because your growth shines a light on the fact they’re still in the same place.
Why I Chose a Different Path
After leaving school, I took an apprenticeship as an engineer, which opened the first real door for me. That led to a career in oil and gas, working in the Middle East, travelling the world, and seeing opportunities I’d never even known existed back in Wishaw.
It wasn’t easy. I worked hard. I pushed myself. I learned to thrive in uncomfortable situations. And I started to believe that I could do more than I’d ever been told I could.
That belief, combined with grit, resilience, and a refusal to settle, is what led me to co-found The Power Within Training with my wife, Enas. From a small start-up, we’ve grown it into a multi-million-pound business with a team of 16, helping leaders, managers, and business owners across the UK.
Our vision from day one was simple: to help other people get the success they’re itching for. We change mindsets, help people get out of their own way, and show them that it’s okay to strive for more without apology.
Here’s the Truth…
Yes, I’ve changed.
Yes, I think differently now.
Yes, I have bigger goals than I did when I was 16.
But that’s not “getting too big for my boots”… that’s growth.
And here’s what I’ve learned: the people who will truly support you won’t be intimidated by your ambition. They’ll be proud of it.
If You’re Hearing “You’ve Changed”…
Maybe you’re reading this and you’ve heard it too. You’ve worked hard, taken risks, and built something, only to have someone try to pull you down with a comment meant to shrink you.
Here’s my advice:
Don’t apologise for your ambition. You’ve worked for it. You’ve earned it.
Remember where you came from, but don’t let it define where you’re going.
Surround yourself with people who want you to win. Not everyone will. That’s okay.
Keep moving forward. Their opinion doesn’t pay your bills or build your future.
Why This Matters for Leaders and Business Owners
I see this mindset challenge all the time in the leaders we coach. Some hold themselves back because they’re afraid of what others will say if they push for more. Others struggle with imposter syndrome, wondering if they’ve “overstepped” their place.
This is why mindset, and specifically Motivational Intelligence, is such a powerful part of our training. It’s about developing the inner tools to navigate the criticism, stay focused on your goals, and lead with confidence, even when the voices around you try to pull you back.
The Boots Were Always the Right Size
At the end of the day, you don’t “grow too big for your boots”, you just grow into the pair you were meant to wear all along.
If you’re feeling that pull to step into something bigger, do it. You’ll lose some people along the way. That’s okay. You’ll gain others who see you for what you’re capable of, not just what you’ve been.
Because the truth is, the only people who think you’re “too big for your boots” are the ones who’d rather you stayed small.
If any of this strikes a chord with you, if you’re itching for more, ready to shake things up, or just know deep down you’re capable of bigger things, that’s exactly what we do at The Power Within Training.
We’ve built our programmes to help leaders, business owners, and ambitious people like you get out of your own way, develop the mindset to match your goals, and create success that lasts. Whether it’s through our leadership development training, business growth academy, or one-to-one coaching, we’ll give you the tools, support, and straight-talking guidance you need to make it happen.
You don’t have to figure it all out on your own, and you don’t have to settle for “good enough.” Let’s work together to get you where you really want to be.
Find out more about our programmes here.
James Fleming
The Power Within Training
The Motivational Intelligence Company
james@tpwtd.com
