Common Mistakes Managers Make with Feedback (And What to Do Instead)
By James Fleming, Co-Founder and Managing Director, The Power Within Training
Why Feedback Feels So Difficult for Managers
Feedback is one of those things that sounds simple until you’re the one sitting in front of someone, trying to say it out loud.
Most managers don’t avoid feedback because they don’t care. It’s usually the opposite. They care about their team, they care about morale, and they don’t want to knock someone’s confidence or create tension where there wasn’t any before.
I’ve experienced this myself when giving feedback to my own team, and it’s something we hear time and time again from our clients too. Leaders who are capable, switched on, and genuinely want the best for their people still find themselves holding back in the moments that matter. And it’s not because they don’t know what to say, it’s because they’re overthinking how it will land.
That’s where things start to slip.
The Most Common Feedback Mistake Managers Make
One of the most common mistakes managers make with feedback is waiting too long to give it.
It doesn’t feel urgent in the moment, so it get parked. Then it happens again, and again, and suddenly it’s no longer a small conversation. It’s a bigger one, with more emotion attached to it than it ever needed.
I often joke that by the time some leaders give feedback, it’s built up so much it comes out like a performance review nobody asked for. There’s a bit of truth in that.
What could have been a two-minute conversation turns into something heavier, more awkward, and harder to land.
And the person on the receiving end is left thinking, “Why am I only hearing this now?”
The issue isn’t the feedback itself. It’s the delay.
What’s Really Holding Managers Back from Giving Feedback
Underneath that delay is usually a belief. Something along the lines of “this might make things worse” or “I don’t want to upset them”.
It feels safer to leave it.
But in reality, avoiding feedback is what creates the problem in the first place. Small things don’t stay small when they’re ignored. They grow quietly, and they show up later in ways that cost more time, more energy, and more trust.
That’s why, at The Power Within Training, the focus isn’t just on giving leaders techniques. It’s on understanding what’s driving their behaviour in the moment.
Because when pressure hits, people don’t suddenly become better communicators. They fall back on what they believe.
If you’re not sure what’s shaping your approach to feedback for managers, our free MQ Meter is a good place to start. It takes a few minutes and gives a clear picture of how you think under pressure, including how you handle conversations like this.
A Simple Feedback Framework That Actually Works
I keep feedback simple in my own business.
There’s no complicated framework or over-engineered process. Just three questions that cut straight to the point.
- What went well?
- What didn’t go so well?
- What will you do differently next time?
It works because it keeps the conversation grounded. It doesn’t feel like criticism. It feels like progress.
People know where they stand, and more importantly, they know what to do next.
There’s no guessing. No second-guessing. Just clarity.
And that’s what effective feedback for managers is meant to do.
Why Saving Feedback for 1:1s Doesn’t Work
A lot of managers rely on 1:1s to “cover feedback”.
On paper, that makes sense. It’s a dedicated space to talk about performance and development.
In practice, it often becomes a holding area for everything that wasn’t said earlier.
By the time the 1:1 comes around, the conversation is heavier than it needs to be. It can feel formal, sometimes even confrontational, when it didn’t have to be.
The best leaders use 1:1s differently. Not as a place to unload, but as a place to build.
The real conversations happen in the moment, when they’re relevant and easier to process.
The Impact of Avoiding Feedback on Your Team
For busy leaders, this matters more than ever.
Holding onto feedback doesn’t save time. It costs it.
Problems take longer to fix. Standards become less clear. Frustration builds quietly in the background. And leaders end up carrying more than they need to.
Feedback for managers isn’t just about correcting behaviour. It’s about creating clarity across the team.
And clarity reduces noise, confusion, and unnecessary stress.
A Better Way to Think About Feedback as a Leader
A simple change I encourage is this.
Instead of asking, “How do I say this without upsetting them?”, ask, “What does this person need from me right now to improve?”
That question changes everything.
It takes the focus off the discomfort and puts it back on the outcome.
It’s no longer about protecting the conversation. It’s about making it useful.
Some of the most valuable feedback I’ve given hasn’t been the most polished. It’s been the most direct.
Clear enough that there’s no confusion about what needs to change.
Because people would rather know where they stand than try to read between the lines.
How The Power Within Training Supports Leaders with Feedback
If feedback still feels like something you hesitate around, it’s worth looking at more closely.
Because it’s rarely about the words. It’s about what’s going on underneath.
That’s exactly what The Power Within Training is built around. Helping leaders understand their thinking, so they can lead with more clarity and consistency, especially in the moments that count.
If you’re curious about where you are right now, the MQ Meter is a simple starting point. It’s quick, practical, and gives you a clear view of what might be holding you back.
From there, our leadership programmes support you and your team to build the confidence to handle conversations like this without overthinking them.
Final Thoughts on Feedback for Managers
Feedback, when it’s done well, doesn’t damage confidence.
It builds it. It creates clarity, raises standards, and it makes leadership easier, not harder.
If you’d like support with this, or you’re looking to develop your team’s leadership capability, we’re always here to help.
James Fleming
The Power Within Training
The Motivational Intelligence Company
james@tpwtd.com
